Saturday, December 31, 2016

Question: Did you have a nice Christmas?

Answer:  FALSE!

There was no so-called Christmas this year.  Moreover, there will never be another Christmas again.  From now on, December 25th is now and forever known as  The Day George Michael Died Day.

Send your plastic trees and wreaths to the plastic smelting plant.  

Take those stockings off the mantle, put a bar of soap in them and use them for self defence.

Give the roasted chestnuts to what little wildlife remains in your strip-mall blighted community.

Nothing is good and everything is bad.  

Don't believe me?  Let's do the math:

This man is dead

meanwhile, this psychopath lying scumbag, this slippery puddle of squirting pig shit, and this fucker, the undisputed king of the fucking assholes still drink child blood freely from Chinese slave-made stemware on this flat, 6000 year old earth.

Questions?  Comments?

+ + +

2017!  Who loves ya baby? 


And by "you" the JOOKLO-ZAPPA GEORGE MICHAEL MEMORIAL FREEDOM MACHINE means select locations in Europe and Scandinavia.  It does *not* mean the UK or the so-called                       --as those pricks are too skint to even cover our coffee drinking budget.  Jolly good job, you tossers!  Now I know what the moustached-one meant when he said the ocean "is a body of water to isolate England"

And of course, now that George Michael is dead, what's the point of going to the England at all?  For the food?

+ + +

Soprano saxophones.  Mine is just about useless...bent and beaten from the last tour.  Poor little thing...that gentile Antigua Wind never had a chance against the fierce Western Canadian and US Pacific North West gusts of fantastic hospitality.

Say, anyone out there in Soprano saxophone land interested in having one of their lower end student model horns (that works) trotted all over Europe and Scandinavia?  

Believe me, these aren't careless whispers I'm making over here.  As you can see the  JOOKLO-ZAPPA GEORGE MICHAEL MEMORIAL FREEDOM MACHINE loves to blog, and this 24% of the  JOOKLO-ZAPPA GEORGE MICHAEL MEMORIAL FREEDOM MACHINE promises to get his picture taken with your working lower end student horn at Kierkegaard's house and outside the better bakeries and bike shops along the way.  My God--just think of the exposure!!! 
Everyone loves to work just for the exposure, right?

If you are a saxophone capitalist and are interested in being my Father Figure by lending me a working horn that can play notes above C#, feel free to drop me a line on this very blog (where the working horn you lent me will be "exposed.")

In the mean time, believe on this...

See you in May unless you are in England, in which case we will not see you, ever.

Sunday, December 18, 2016

Kierkegaard, Rance Allen, The Jooklo Zappa Friendship Machine and YOU--Perfect Together!

In the end it's all a question of ear.  The rules of grammar end with ear--the edicts of the law end with ear--the figured bass ends with ear--the philosophical system ends with ear--which is why the next life is also represented as pure music, as a great harmony--if only my life's dissonance may soon be resolved into that.

--Soren Kierkegaard Papers and Journals: A Selection.


Don't you love it when really smart people write about music?  (Ha!  if you did you wouldn't be reading this blog!)  

And don't you love it when those really smart people drop some science over 100 years ago that's still fresh, germane, applicable?

And don't you really really love it when anyone drops some science that generates more questions than answers?

For example, who's ear are we speaking of?  Do the ears of Kierkegaard's Copenhagen hear the same way as the ears of RUN-DMC's Hollis Queens?


Next Life / Pure Music / Great Harmony!(tm)

You know what I think is a great harmony?  Two pianos, tuned 1/6 of a half tone apart, every key depressed with a 88 key long piece of wood, again and again.  Preferably rapidly, by a machine.  That is a great harmony.  Please!  No one gives a shit about 7th chords and your thoughtful placement there-of any more. 

And how about that Pure Music?  Like Walter White's Pure Meth?  Something only achieved by expensive technical infrastructure and wicked good science chops?

Or is pure in this instance the antonym to fake?

Gotta love that "fake."  You know, when it comes to the intangible--like music (because that is all I care about)--it's never what alone but who in conjunction with their surplus of what that gets the final word with regards to determining what is FAKE--(even if , many years later, it is revealed to have been the REAL all along, and the so called real (like the so called moon landing) was fake fakery from even before the get go.  Pre-meditated fakery!  GROWTH INDUSTRY!

Maybe that's why this 25% of the Jooklo-Zappa trio loves music--it IS all FAKE!  You know what else?  The FAKER your music and the FAKER you are about doing so, the more your audience will love you!  Unless your audience is Soren Kierkegaard:

In our time book-scribbling is so wretched and people write about things they have never really given thought to, let alone experienced.  So I've decided to read only the writings of those who were executed or faced danger in some way.

Soren Kierkegaard, ibid.


What are the dangers faced by improvising musicians of the now?  Does the "danger" have to be a constant, a singular event?  A singular event that happened twice?  The menace of an event to happen?  See, this is what I mean about writings [and music] that generates more questions than it answers.


"So like, are you going to Europe or what?"

asked a well known record industry mogul, not that he cares or anything.

"I Copenhagen in Europe?  Virgi!  Are we going to Europe?  Is Copenhagen in Europe?"

I don't know about you, but I want to jump up and down on the beds at Kierkegaard's rather swank digs!

Virgi!!!  Can we, the Jooklo-Zappa Blossoming Flower of Untempered Happiness do our thing next to the bicycles?

Um, hellooooo, BEST VIDEO EVER!!!

How's that for an answer?

Thursday, December 15, 2016

Remember to keep the Rance Allen in Christmas!

This particular Jooklo-Zappa would like to take a moment to remind you that Christmas, as well as the other 364 days of the year, are all about Rance Allen

Thanks to the miracle and thoughtful kindness of my best friend Youtube, together we can enjoy the majesty and genius of the one and only Rance Allen as manifested in the above playlist, compiled by a well written and very groovy algorithm.

Thank you algorithm!

This season, and all other seasons, raise your hands in the air like antennas to God and bask in the glorious warmth and musical genius of soul-gospel virtuoso Rance Allen!

REJOICE!!! This message is approved by 25% of the Jooklo-Zappa Friendship Spaceship of Many Colours

Sunday, December 11, 2016

Live with the Jooklo-Zappa Pan Tonal Friendship Blossom...Again!

Live at the Village Vanguard again!

Hands up, who likes again! better than the first time?

Hands up, who likes the record cover of again! better than the first one?

I know, I know, this superlative excellence, that superlative the words of Hillary Clinton and Morrissey "What difference does it make?"

Very little, I suppose...though it is a different line up, a different time, a different gestalt, a different relationship to harmony and different conception as to that which can be used by the soloist against these harmonies.

So, yeah, it probably makes little to no difference.

Because really, does anything ever make any difference?

Has the Village Vanguard fixed the awning yet?

What difference would that make?


With the sun shining less and less upon my part of our flat earth, at Gill Scott Heron's urging, I am turning to John Coltrane, rather than lady day.  

That makes a BIG difference, thanks for asking.

What difference does turning to John Coltrane again and again and again make?

The key is "again and again and again"

Each evening, after David would cook a lovely meal and do the dishes while Ms. Genta and I gave each other manicures, we would sit together on the couch, snuggle with Mr. Poo Poo the pit bull, and have Book Talk or Discussioni progetto.

After a randy discussion of the Analects of Confucius, talk turned to Bruce Lee and his totally excellent book the Tao of Jeet Kune Do.

Here's a question: Would it be fair to call Bruce Lee the John Coltrane of the Martial Arts?

Here's another question: Is anything ever fair?

Those of you who have read the Tao of Jeet Kune Do know that it is really a book about improvisation.

Those of you who follow Bruce Lee on your Pinterest page have probably read the Bruce Lee quote about not fearing a man who has done 10,000 exercises once, but fearing the man (or woman) who has done one exercise 10,000 times.

Isn't that right Morio Higaonna?

On the advice of Ernie Watts, from a lecture/demonstration given at the Berklee College of Music (of all places), this little Jooklo-Zappa, in preparation for the Euro / Scando Freakabastia 2017, has been practising on and over the horn's "break"--that awkward part were the horn changes from one octave to another (think puberty)--i.e. moving smoothly from C to C# to D for all you saxophone players out there.

Hopefully when the time comes, this little Jooklo Zappa will be able to smash his horn-fist into the wall of western mono-tonality and musical cowardice in general, again and again, until a visible stain thereupon is made.

Until then!

Sunday, December 4, 2016

David, In Today's Correspondence, Reminded Me To Underscore The Centrality of John Coltrane

Recorded on 11 / 11/ 66.  Is that awesome or what?  That's just about 1 month and 50 years ago!

50 years prior to 1966 was...1916.  How pressing was the music of 1916 on the collective improvising musical consciousness in 1916?  Did they even have music in 1916?

They certainly did have not have music like that of John Coltrane, nor that of Rashid Ali.

David`s love of John Coltrane was something that we bonded over almost immediately.  Which John Coltrane CD to play in the car next?

And of course, David (like myself) is also a huge fan of Albert Ayler--we`re going to get to him in a later episode of Jooklo Zappa European Freakabastia Spring 2017.

Isn`t it amazing how well this music kept?  And isn`t it amazing that it has taken 50 years before "we" got our minds and ears around this sound?  When it first came out, more people than less would have told you that what Coltrane was doing on 11 / 11 / 66 was not music.  Well, there sure have been a lot of people trying to play this exact not-music, for the last 50 years.

Maybe it isn`t music--secular music anyway.  Maybe it`s gospel music?  Those hymns, once established, sure have stood the test of time.  Could it be that John Coltrane was the great hymn writer of the modern day?  Will any group surpass what you hear in the above video?   Does anyone need to surpass what you hear in the above video?   Out Coltrane Coltrane as it were?  Lord knows there`s no end of people trying.

And maybe that`s not such a bad thing?

Is it better or worse than Elvis impersonators?

Do Elvis impersonators--the really good one--have the same impact upon listeners as the real Elvis did, way back when?  This young whipper snapper sure seems to have an effect on Ellen!

Here`s hoping the Jooklo-Zappa Offshoots of Delusion give you the same joy in your European and Scandinavian town, in 2017 (provided there is a 2017)

Friday, December 2, 2016

David, the ever vigilant correspondent, sent us a fantastic link to "TV Gospel Time"! Thank you David

Perhaps you haven't heard, but David Vanzan has 4 PhD's:  Funky, Party, Good Vibes and Gospel Music.

In David's most recent correspondence (he writes me so often!) he included the above video.  In so doing, he (and my best friend youtube) alerted me (and now us) to TV Gospel Time.

David has promised that we are going to listen to lots and lots of gospel music when the Jooklo-Zappa Tractor-Trailor of Rainbows hits the great joyous highways of Europe and Scandinavia!  Not like the Jooklo-Zappa Tearful Believers listen to much in the way of secular music anyhow...

Before I leave you to TV Gospel Time (a big thanks again to David for sharing this with us!) can instrumental be anything other than secular?  Can instrumental music be "gospel" or, more to the point "holy" and in the service and exultation of "the Lord"?  If so, how?  

Please write answer in English in the comments section.